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  • About BGD
    • BGD Press Books
    • Opportunities at BGD
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    • Get Free: A Summer Program For Queer and Trans Youth of Color
  • DONATE to Support BGD
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BGD

Remembering How To Grieve

April 19, 2013

by Asam Ahmad

Our President says
those responsible for the bombings
will be held accountable;
speaks of the ‘full weight of justice,’
dread and nausea
swells up inside me

I know
by “holding accountable”
what America really means
is visiting violence
ten
or twenty
or a hundred fold
on those America decides are
‘responsible’; on those America thinks
look enough like
the ones responsible

I no longer know
how to grieve
“innocent” American victims
I can’t remember how
to bear my head down low
and wring my hands and nod
in agreement yes,
this was a horrific act of violence,
yes, of course, violence is never okay

I can no longer bear the violence
of these ritualized gestures,
the violence
of this language of mourning
reserved only for the upstanding
Citizens of Empire;
lives vaunted
and cherished
infinitely more valuable
than hundreds of thousands
of brown bodies that now litter
the Middle East because America
was too hurt
or too angry
or too traumatized
to see beyond its own
misty haze of grief

There is too much pain in this world
and I’m afraid
I no longer remember

how to grieve

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