BGD
  • About BGD
    • BGD Press Books
    • Opportunities at BGD
    • Submit Your Work To BGD
    • Reposting from BGD
    • Get Free: A Summer Program For Queer and Trans Youth of Color
  • DONATE to Support BGD
  • Bring Us To Your School or Event
  • About BGD
    • BGD Press Books
    • Opportunities at BGD
    • Submit Your Work To BGD
    • Reposting from BGD
    • Get Free: A Summer Program For Queer and Trans Youth of Color
  • DONATE to Support BGD
  • Bring Us To Your School or Event

BGD

8 Ways Not To Be An “Ally”: A Non-Comprehensive List

June 17, 2013

 by Mia McKenzie

People like to throw around the term “ally”. White people who claim to be anti-racist, non-disabled folks who claim to be invested in challenging ableist norms, cis queers who claim to understand the importance of trans* visibility. People claim “ally” for themselves regularly and with ease. But the truth is that being an ally takes more work than most of us imagine. In fact, it takes constant vigilance. And there are many ways we fail at it everyday. Frankly, some of us are just totally doing it wrong.

To help sort it out, I’ve compiled this list of “8 Ways Not To Be An Ally” and I hope it’s useful.

1. Assume one act of solidarity makes you an ally forever.

Remember that time your uncle said that fucked-up stuff about “illegal” Mexican immigrants and you were all, “Actually, Uncle, California is Mexico, so you need to read your history cuz that’s hella racist!” That shit rocked, bruh. And it totally means that you are an Ally with a capital A for, like, ever! Done and done. Let’s go get a celebratory slurpee. But you know what else? Nope. Being an ally takes waaaay more practice than that. It is a constantly active and evolving thing. I mean, imagine labeling yourself a great lover after you ate pussy once. That would be cray, wouldn’t it?

2. Make everything about your feelings.

The hurt feelings that resulted when you were called out on racism/transphobia/ableism/etc. are totally more important than the impact of the actions you are being called out for in the first place. Really. I’m not even being facetious. Psych! I mean, I know it feels like your feelings are Consideration #1, but they’re not. I have been guilty of this ridiculousness myself in the past. I think everybody is guilty of it sometimes. But that still doesn’t make it okay. Try to remember that people who have been impacted by your racist/transphobic/ableist/etc. words or actions are the ones whose feelings need attention right then. Not yours…

READ MORE

 

previous post
Featured Poetry: “Tea Time”
next post
QTPOC Chat Episode 2: Pride

You may also like

#FemCrowdFund Is An Intersectional Approach To Resisting Trump

How To Create Change By Rejecting Intoxication Culture

Live Your Authentic Self And Be Free: BGD’s Crush of the Month Featuring CeCe McDonald

How #NoDAPL Could Help Connect Our Struggles

How Indigenous Communities Can Support Two-Spirit People

Love Doesn’t Trump Hate. Accountability Does.

After The Raid: Why You Shouldn’t Look Away From #NoDAPL

suicidal activism

Painful Progress: How Suicidal Thoughts Complicate My Activism

How Do We Hold Space For the Families Left Behind In the Wake of Police Violence?

Support Our Ongoing Work & Archives

Give to BGD

The BGD Blog still needs your donations for ongoing projects and to keep our archives free and accessible for years to come! Click DONATE or go here for more info!


Kick It With Us On SM

Facebook Twitter Youtube Soundcloud

Tweets

  • Want to support queer mamas of color for Mothers Day? Help BGD take space for queer moms and families!… https://t.co/kZws6I5N3v

    10-May-2019

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Support queer families of color! https://t.co/9AAcKIchCZ

    06-May-2019

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • So...this super-stressful, racist shit has been happening for the last year that I haven't talked about, but now I… https://t.co/OfVp0Ok2pf

    03-May-2019

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Youtube
  • Soundcloud

© 2019 BGD Press, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


Back To Top